Mahabharata 2.0

June 6, 2010 1 comment

Raajneeti Duryodhan kidnaps Bheesmapithama and his sena but he is not put on a bed of arrows this time around. The arrows are either too expensive or not strong enough. Though the pain in his ‘you-know-what’ is still the same. Bheesmapithama unwillingly supports Dritharaasta to bring the Government out of majority.

Dritharaastha is so overwhelmed that he gets paralysed. Making him lose his eyesight was not considered because live telecast is a household affair now (Remember the guy who did live coverage for Dritharaastha in the previous one, right?). Kunti too stayed away from following her husband’s footsteps.

The quest for power took over Duryodhan and Yudhisthir. Sensing trouble Shakuni speaks a few magical words in the almost-dead Dritharaastha’s ears and he regains senses. Dritharaastha asks his brother (couldn’t think of his mahabharata counterpart n for him – suggestions open) to take care of Kurukshetra. His son Yudhisthir would become the Senapati or so.

Duryodhan tried to convince his father – ‘Dude, I am your son! What about me?’. Shakuni consoled him with an ear-to-ear grin.

Meanwhile a ‘wise guy’ comes from US and is starts flirting around with this chic who later becomes Duapati. Yudhisthir celebrates his semi Rajtilak by making out with Shakunthala, promising her a ticket to Sitapur.

Duryodhan and Yudhisthir are up against each other and Duryodhan is furious about the fact that Shakuni is not on his side this time. But he still manages to get Karan on his side. Karan, poor guy is again the illegitimate one!

The wise guy rejects the to-be Duapati and decides to go on an exile. His father (still can’t figure out a suitable name for this guy) agrees to see him off till the Udan Khatola point (now known as an airport). Duryodhan & Karan trap the unnamed dude and get him killed. As it is there is no point for an unnamed character in a story.

Yudhisthir and wise guy decide to fight it out and a slap on the wise guy’s face gets the hell out of him. Yudhisthir is put behind bars for a consumer complaint filed by Shakuntala for a cancelled flight to Sitapur.

Bheesmapithama yet another time signed a notice to throw Yudhisthir and his team out of the kingdom. Though out of context but it reminded me of M-Seal ad where the fat son gets his dad to put an extra zero while on deathbed.

Team Kaurav and Team Pandav (though effective family planning reduced the number from 5 to 2) prepare to battle it out in Kurukshetra. Wise guy (as his name suggests) took control and laid down a roadmap for success.

Team Pandav’s fate once again got them to the gambling table. Wise guy agreed to marry Duapati to get Dushaashan on his side. Out of repentance Dushaashan decided to play Duapati’s father but couldn’t do without putting her in a mess. Dushaashan agreed to marry Duapati not to the wise guy but Yudhisthir. It made complete sense to everyone as she is still getting the same mother-in-law, Kunti. Even Duapati thought it made sense to marry Yudhisthir and keep an eye on the wise guy rather than marrying Duryodhan.

Wise guy’s dumb blonde girlfriend suddenly lands at 3 am in the morning and calls Shakuni instead of the man himself. This chic rehearses with Shakuni how to say the three magical words but gets it incorrect. I doubt if Shakuni had specific interest in this chic.

The battle begins but the fancy arrows are a miss. Thanks to wise guy’s research and ppt on Kurukshetra’s political analysis Team Pandav was on the winning side. Duryodhan could not bear the pain of his happy and gay team member Babulal’s murder and his imminent loss in the election. He decided to blow up Yudhisthir. Inflation restricted them from building the shellac palace but he burned down a black Mercedes Benz of equivalent value. Together with the black Mercedes Yudhisthir and the dumb blonde also blew up.

Shakuni dashes for Karan to take revenge. In the blink of an eye Karan’s legal mother gets a 30 year old red piece of cloth and declares that Shakuni’s sister Kunti is karan’s biological mother. This saves Karan’s life. Kunti must have also missed her flight to Sitapur I presume.

Wise guy once again reminds Duapati of her responsibility towards her dead husband’s motherland and she agrees to imitate the Indo-Italian saree clad politician. The people of Kurukshetra couldn’t say no to the ill-fated abla naari and voted her towards power.

Wise guy decides to settle all scores once and for all and sets a trap for Duryodhan. Duryodhan and Karan get trapped and wise guy hits Duryodhan’s killer spot. Karan drags him on to his chariot and tries to escape. After a brief car chase Team Pandava get hold of them. Yudhisthir is reluctant to kill Karan but Shakuni speaks magical words in his ears and reminds him of his Karma. It worked and he shoots Karan.

Duapati wins and becomes the queen of Kurukshetra. Wise guy admits that he never wanted to get into messy warfare and is tired of it. He leaves for abode but Duapati asks him to come back soon because she is expecting his dead brother’s baby (Abhimanyu in the making).

Didn’t get it? Watch Raajneeti!

Categories: Green Orange Tags:

How we lied to see the truth – Calcutta Times

May 29, 2010 Leave a comment

Times News Network, Calcutta Oct 22, 2002

Perplexed by reports of child deaths at the BC Roy Memorial Hospital, four young students — Namit Agarwal, Barkha Sharda, Shayoni Sarkar and Uttaran Das Gupta — hid their identities to check out the ground realities on September 14. Here goes Namit’s account.
The environment around the hospital was grey. Shayoni called herself Jhumki and Uttaran, Raja and entered the hospital as villagers. We knew the authorities had banned the entry of media personnels within the hospital premises. Near the main gate a few policemen were stationed. However, they didn’t bother to check our identities.
With a crumbling boundary, the compound was free passage for stray dogs and any passerby. The centre of the compound housed an ill-maintained garden with a circular pavement around it, which the relatives of the patients used as a place to sit and relax. We waited for an opportunity to interact with them. The first opportunity came our way when the parents of nine-month-old Bula Roy confided in us, “No one in the city cares about the welfare of us villagers.
We have no other choice but to admit our infants here in spite of whatever is happening. We are even more concerned since three infants died yesterday.” For those who didn’t find place on the pavement, they made themselves comfortable under a dilapidated portico. We were shocked to hear that most of the parents had no idea about what disease their children were suffering from. Meanwhile, Barkha and I approached the main gate as officers from a false NGO Smriti Seva Pratisthan. Barkha had managed to smuggle in a camera underneath her clothes.
We entered the pediatric ward which was empty except for a stray dog. The walls were stained with betel leaf spits and the doors and locks were rusted. Then we went to meet the ward officer. We showed him our fake letter stating fund raising purposes and asked for permission to see the superintendent. Pretending that we were on our way to meet the super, we actually turned to the staircase leading to the ward. On the first floor the scene was bad. Oxygen cylinders, used bandages, and blood stained cotton lay around on the watery floor. Walking into the wards revealed an even more grey picture.
For one, there were no doctors or nurses attending to the patients. The window panes were broken thus making it easy for sunlight, or rainwater to pour in any time of the day. The beds were rusted and squeaky, and the rusted fans hardly moved. The parents of the children seemed to be spending most of their time in the wards as we found wet clothes on lines across the rooms, and food items and blankets piled up in every possible corner. Each of the beds were being shared by at least three children. The parents themselves were guarding the doors of the ward with no one from the hospital around.
The condition on the second floor was much better with a few nurses and one or two doctors around though the corridors were as unclean as the rest of the hospital. The biggest shock came when we climbed up to the terrace and saw six children lying on broken beds with the sky as their roof. Neither hospital authorities nor parents were with them. We came back from there with heavy hearts but with our curiosity satiated. Can’t the health department of the government see what we could?

This article can be accessed at:

Categories: Press Clippings

Keep an eye on the butt

May 23, 2010 Leave a comment

keepaneye Considered one of the most attractive parts of a woman’s body, how could marketers not think of focusing on butts before! Marketing agencies have now fixed their eyeballs on women’s bottoms with Reebok taking a lead and others following suit.

Shaping up your butt couldn’t be simpler than just walking around in your Reebok shoes. Skeptical though of the benefits these pair would have on someone’s bottom, it certainly would firm up the company’s bottom(line).

It took me a while to accept the fact that Reebok is actually trying to sell shoes by promising a better butt. Television screens splashed with seductive pairs of ‘you-know-what’ moving up and down after every few minutes as a part of the campaign to give Indian women a better bottom.

With its EasyTone technology Reebok has made a smart move to stand out of the competition. Female obsession for better curves is widely known and has shaped up an equivalent ‘silicon valley’. However, it will be challenging for Reebok to convince the conservative Indian majority to opt for better curves.

The competition to grab your butt has just begun and Jockey has already joined the bandwagon by launching an underwear that makes your behind more presentable. Marketing over a pair of butt is no longer limited to nappies and the cute ones now share space with ‘hot’ ones.

Categories: Green Orange

Not just a Blog

February 21, 2010 Leave a comment

Identity, Network, Fame, Business, Money, Social Cause, Information and even Matrimony……….well this is what a blog means for different people. I realized this at the BlogCamp – Mumbai event today.

A ninth standard blogger who blogs about technology, a 16 yr old boy who runs corporate blogs from other companies and has his own social media management company and a housewife who writes about her experiences were some of them who captivated my thoughts. Then there were those who blog for a cause and those who do it for fun. It so happened for a blogger that he found his perfect match through his blog!

It feels amazing to see how technology affects our lives. This affect however, is for the good.

For me a blog is my confidant. An intimate friend who quietly listens to me at any time of the day or night. Inhibitions if any, that I had about blogging are ruled out now. Thank You BlogCamp!

Categories: Weekend Diaries

A rainbow too far

February 17, 2010 Leave a comment

As soon as she stepped out of what she thought was paradise

She found a new life or rather a new meaning to his existing life

A feeling so strange she had never experienced before

Difficult it was for her to understand whether what she found made her happy

Or was it the sudden loss of what she thought was happiness for her

She moved ahead with her undecided mind as the only companion

Strong she was not to look back and smiled all the way ahead in search of the undefined

Thoughts that tried to pull her, intoxicated her with a strong sense of satisfaction

Overpowering the pull-back and empowering her to move to the next step

Flaunting ignorance as her only jewel and her innocent smile the only garb

Away she walked from the crossroads in search of a rainbow

Tears she thought were raindrops

Drenched in sorrow and enjoying the downpour with a smile

Tapping her feet to the tunes of the thunderstorm

Brave she was to climb the hill, or so she thought

The view from top was enchanting or the visible distance painful

She couldn’t tell

But her tears bled to the heart

Categories: Piece of my heart

Love, Coffee & Confusion

January 12, 2010 Leave a comment

I stood on the crowded pavement when she held my hand from behind.

Extremely delighted something inside my head flashed “you got her dude ”

“How long have you been here?” she asked

For ages said my mind but my tongue had a mind of its own “Ya, not long!” it said.

“So you changed your mind” the subconscious portion of my mind took over and asked

“There’s something called a coffee shop!” she reminded

“Oh yes!” I said as if I had forgotten

‘CCD’ are the three words that have mushroomed across the country. Maybe Indians now have a much better appetite for coffee

Truly expecting a lot to happen over coffee we went in.

“Cappuccino?” she asked. Oh I love cappuccino and couldn’t resist saying “yes”.

“So” we both said together; We were at equal excitement level it seemed.

And then waited for almost 36 seconds for each other to speak the next word.

On the 37th second I finally spoke ” So you changed your mind. Finally!”

“Well, I thought about it and decided that you are not that bad either” she said

Why can’t girls talk simple in complicated situations in particular? I thought

I couldn’t convince myself to take it as a compliment and stared at her for an explanation

She smiled and said ” Two cappuccinos, please”. Oh the waiter. I realized

“Does that mean yes?” I asked. I prefer keeping things simple in all situations

“Well not really. I am a little confused. Give me some time” she confused me again

“We can be good friends. We’ll get to know each other better” she added

I couldn’t decide whether to be delighted by the fact that she is still interested or get disappointed because she did not accept my proposal

I wonder why CCD guys design a heart on every cappuccinos. And why the hell the heart in my cup seemed incomplete!

I poured two sachets of sugar on the heart and dissolved the heart and the sugar both

“Sure we can be friends and you can take you own sweet time” I assured

Nah! This is not my story. Well sort of.

Categories: Piece of my heart

Man of letters wants to script world peace

January 12, 2010 Leave a comment


Man of letters wants to script world peace

Rakhi Chakraborty in Kolkata
Feb. 16. — He could well be called a “man of letters”. Nineteen-year-old Namit Agarwal, a first-year BCom student of Bhowanipore Gujarati Education Society, has collected about 40 letters from dignitaries and heads of state from across the globe.
Namit boasts of letters from Pakistan prime minister Mr Mir Zafarullah Khan Jamali, Australian premier Mr John Howard, Egyptian president Mr Hosni Mubarak, Mr Nelson Mandela as well as former Indian president Mr KR Narayanan and prime minister Mr Atal Behari Vajpayee.
In a letter, Mr Jamali wrote to him, “The times of achieving national glory through war are over. Modern war is not a conflict between armies only; entire peoples of the battling countries are involved and suffer infinite misery, destruction and a halt to progress and all that is good in life (sic).”
“After I wrote to Mr Jamali, there was an enquiry from an intelligence agency at my house. But when the officer heard the details, he praised me,” said Namit.
As a class VIII student of St Thomas Church School, he wanted to take up an unusual hobby. So, in 1998, he decided to shoot off a letter to Ms Cherie Blair, wife of the British premier Mr Tony Blair. He requested for her autograph and photograph. “I did not have her address. So, I just wrote “London, UK”, and sent it off,” he said. About a month later, he received a reply from her.
Overjoyed at his success, he wrote to 53 persons across the world in a week. “I did not receive any reply. Then a month later, I got a letter from Mr Mandela with 500 stamps of South Africa, magazines, and a book,” he said.
His impressive collection of letters from dignitaries has boosted his confidence and now he wishes to take up world peace as a cause. “I want to spread the message of peace all over the world. Besides, I also want to collect peace messages from students,” said Namit.

Categories: Press Clippings